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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?